Shantell here.
Now it’s time to really let some steam out on the blog and talk about one of the touchiest situations known to men and women in the dating world: the blind date. First off I’d like to say that many people do meet their match through a set-up-type arrangement, and I’m all for networking on a social level. What I am not in favor of, though, is setting up two people that are both single based on that criteria alone.
Case and point…
Many years ago, I was on one of my rants about being single and dating to a married female friend at church. Sensing my frustration and being well-intentioned, a light-bulb seemed to go off and she exclaimed with excitement “I know someone!”
Now, at this point in the story, I’m pretty open to the whole idea so she suggests she give this distant relative of her husband’s my email so we could chat. He (we’ll call him Jim) sent me a note and in the course of several emails I learned…
- he had no college degree or any aspirations of any kind with any trade or training
- he worked at a movie theatre (part-time)
- he lived at home (and he was in his 30’s)
- he had not attended any church services in more than a decade
- he like to “hang with girls and party it up on the weekends” - real quote
- had “no real motivation to attain any real goals for his life” - real quote
Now…before you start thinking I’m super snobby in any way, just know that I still offered friendship to Jim.
At the same time, I also started wondering why my friend seemed to think we were a good match. Because honestly I was pretty much the complete opposite end of the spectrum to everything Jim shared. So, I pulled my friend aside at church and asked her why she thought Jim and I should meet. She thought about it for a moment and then said, “well, he’s funny and you both play guitar.”
(throat clearing, ahuhm sound)
This brings me to my main point here. Married folks, please make sure that you’re not just setting up two people who are single based on just that fact. Single folks, ask questions about these blind date opportunities so you aren’t going forward, er, blindly.
Finally, to present a competing viewpoint for balanced coverage in our world-wide blog, my cousin once set up two people on a date based solely on the fact that they were both short. And, it worked because they ended up getting married. True story.